Honoring Your Father and Mother, June 20
Daily Reflections from Inside the Cancer Journey
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Written by David Gira
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12 ESV).
Soon after I met my wife, doctors diagnosed her mother with a rare type of ovarian cancer. Over the next couple of years, Dot endured multiple rounds of chemotherapy and grueling surgeries.
By the grace of God and determination, Dot participated in our wedding. She even dressed up, saying, “It’s better to look good than to feel good!” She made it to the hospital the day her first grandchild, Marcie, was born and held her. Dot enjoyed many important moments.
After several years of her fighting to live, the disease began its final and furious advance. Soon Dot was shut in, bedridden, and in the care of hospice nurses.
What I remember most is the way my wife, Amy, cared for her mom—changing bandages, holding a pail when she got sick, wiping her mouth, soothing her, bathing her, washing Dot’s hair, brushing her teeth, wetting her dry mouth, and managing her meds to lessen the pain. She did it all willingly, lovingly, and skillfully, impressing the hospice nurses.
As the end drew near, we kept vigil. Amy held her mom’s hand and comforted her. Dot faded out of consciousness. Her breathing slowed and crackled. As her pain grew, Amy gave her mother a gift, something no one else would: permission to go. We felt the presence of the Lord as Jesus came to take His faithful child home. Dot passed peacefully in large part because of Amy’s loving care.
Many marvel, and some shudder, at the thought of doing all Amy did for her mom. It was truly one of the hardest things she’s ever done. Dot was only 59 and Amy only 29, both too young. But Amy being with her mom was a gift for both and the right thing to do. They treasured the time together and grew even closer.
God commands us to honor our mother and father. It’s number five on God’s “top ten.” Jesus enfolded it into “love your neighbor as yourself” (see Matthew 22:39). Parents are about as neighborly as it gets. The commandment is that important and the only one that comes with a promise and blessing: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).
Amy’s presence with her mom was a wonderful gift for both. Amy continues to miss her mom and grieve her death, but she can have peace knowing she did everything she could. And in caring for her mom, Amy discovered her calling to become a nurse. She now holds a Bachelor of Science degree in nursing and is a Registered Nurse … one of the best!
I am grateful for Amy’s example of what it means to honor your mother and father. Her witness shines brightly in cancer’s darkness.
What it means for you to honor your parents and the blessings that may follow is something we each must discover for ourselves. It may not be easy, especially if cancer is involved, but God will help you.
Pray: Lord, in this cancer experience, I want to honor my parents. Show me what I can do. Provide me with Your grace, strength, and wisdom. Enable me to draw close to my mother and father. I thank you for both. Amen.
Your Turn: Listen to “You Raise Me Up.” Thank God and your parents for ways they have raised you up. Prayerfully consider a way you can raise up and honor your parents.
Michael David Gira, Jr., Cancer Survivor
David was an ordained United Methodist Pastor and graduate of Duke Divinity School. He and his wife, Amy, lived in Raleigh, North Carolina with their three children. In 2017 he was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. In his book, How Cancer Cured Me, he shares many ways he experienced God’s healing. After a 7 year battle with cancer, David is now joyously singing praises in God’s glorious throne room. His legacy lives on through his writing for Cancer Companions, as he continues to proclaim Christ’s hope and healing power to others experiencing cancer. https://www.davidgira.com/how-cancer-cured-me
Dorothy “Dot” Baggett
In memory of Dorothy “Dot” Baggett, Amy Gira's mother–by David Gira.
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