Praying for Our Friends, August 13
Inside the Cancer Journey: Daily Reflections for Those Coping with Cancer
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Written by Dan Held
I have heard many things like these; you are miserable comforters, all of you! (Job 16:2 NIV)
As a pastor who has visited over the years with many cancer patients, I have been blessed to hear mostly positive stories about how their friends responded to the news of cancer being found and treatment undertaken. Yet, it would trouble me whenever I heard those contrary stories of friendships that had disappointed—friends who had turned away and stopped visiting, or friends who did visit and left patients feeling even worse than before.
Many times, friends do not know what to say to a cancer patient or caregiver if they’ve never been in that role themselves. They may think they understand, but they don’t—and can’t. Or they may presume to have great advice to offer, based on some anecdotal evidence they’ve picked up along their own way. They’ve “heard bad things about that oncologist,” or have known others whose “faith healed them miraculously and without need of any treatment.” There might be friends who, because they are cancer survivors, choose to assume the role of expert about your treatment—even though cancer is different with each person.
Such friends can be worse than enemies sometimes.
When Job found himself miserably afflicted in his life, his three best friends came to render their own assessment on where Job had gone wrong in the past. Each carried advice on what Job must now do for himself. Exasperated, Job finally had enough of their so-called friendships. He angrily blurted out, “you are miserable comforters, all of you!” (Job 16:2b)
If you have ever found yourself in the presence of a miserable comforter, you will understand Job’s frustration. Yet, it is important to learn this lesson from Job where the issue of suffering and friendships are concerned: pray for those friends anyway. That’s right, pray for them. That is what Job did. We read of a happy surprise in his later life: “After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before” (Job 42:10 NIV).
Cancer may bring out the best or the worst in our friends. But either way, God is present to hear our prayers and add His blessings.
Pray: Gracious God, thank You for my friends today—for those who understand and those who do not. For those who come and those who stay away. For those who comfort and those who confound. Bless them, always, according to their needs. Amen.
Your Turn: Which friends are hardest for you to include in your own prayer this day? Why not do as Job did, and call upon God’s help for them, even now? Then wait to see how God blesses them … and you!
Dan Held
Dan is a cancer caregiver who lives with his wife (Sue) of 55 years in Dayton, Ohio, where Sue has been free from breast cancer and colon cancer for two years! Dan is an ordained pastor and a licensed therapist with a heart for families touched by cancer at any stage. He is dedicated to promoting the message of more love and less fear in all aspects of his ministry and life. Check out his blog at www.danielkheld.com.
Cancer Companion’s vision for the future is for every person impacted by cancer to know the hope, love, and grace of Jesus and that every oncology team has included faith in their treatment toolbox. By 2033, Cancer Companions will provide 5 million engagements through cancer prayers, scriptures and interactions to those impacted by cancer. Engagements include; social media outreach, e-newsletters, prayer team requests, 30 days of Cancer Prayer event, and volunteer connections.
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