The Gift of Silence, September 12
Inside the Cancer Journey: Daily Reflections for Those Coping with Cancer
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By Thomas Sherrod
So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great (Job 2:13 NKJV).
Have you ever stuck your foot in your mouth? Have you ever said the wrong thing at the wrong time? A friend confides in you that they have just been diagnosed with cancer, and you start talking and can’t stop. Someone shares their fear of dying, and you immediately offer false assurances and cheap solutions. We have all been there.
So, how can we be helpful to someone opening up about a sensitive subject such as cancer? The book of Job tells the unfortunate story of a man losing most of what was valuable to him. He hears that his livestock have all been killed. His sons and daughters are destroyed as their house collapses. Finally, to add insult to injury, Job’s health is attacked, and his wife encourages him to curse God and die.
Job’s three friends hear of his suffering and make an appointment to comfort him and mourn with him. As they approach Job, they do not recognize him. Grief changes you. It sometimes changes your outward appearance. We use the term that someone is “grief-stricken.” Job is severely grief-stricken. His friends tear their robes and weep with Job. They sit down on the ground with Job—and for seven days and seven nights they do not say a word. Why don’t they speak? We are told they saw that his grief was great.
You may be a caretaker for someone suffering through cancer. You may know stories of people with cancer, or perhaps you yourself have had cancer, but honestly, you do not know what it is like for your loved one to have cancer. This may leave you at a loss for words. You may feel the uncontrollable urge to say something! You may have stuck your foot in your mouth trying to be helpful. I know I have. But I receive direction as I visualize Job’s three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, sitting on the ground beside Job and not saying a word for a full week. It wasn’t as if they didn’t care and were just performing a duty. No, they knew this was not the time for subtleties or idle chatter. They knew their words would only serve to disrespect the enormity of Job’s sorrow. There would be time for words later. Now was the time for silence.
May God give you the strength to sit by a spouse, a friend, or a loved one without the need to offer solutions. May God enable you to comfort someone with the gift of silence.
Pray: Lord, give us the peace to know Your presence is what brings healing. May we be an instrument of Your peace to someone going through a difficult season. Amen.
Your Turn: Visualize Job’s friends sitting beside him not saying a word before visiting someone struggling with cancer. What would make this difficult for you to do? What would make this easy?
Thomas W. Sherrod, Cancer Survivor
Tom is a retired hospital chaplain who works part time for Atrium Wake Forest Baptist Health System in North Carolina. He organized and facilitated a cancer support group for twenty years as part of his hospital ministry. He is married for forty-four years and enjoys his three daughters, two sons-in-law, and five grandchildren. He is a recent survivor of prostate cancer and is immensely thankful for all of God's grace and provisions through it all.
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