When Fear of Loss Strikes, April 22
Daily Reflections from Inside the Cancer Journey
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Written by Dan Held
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV).
Both times I heard the word “cancer” used by a surgeon in response to my wife’s diagnosis, two different four-letter words crossed my mind in quick succession. Neither were profane, but both were profound within my mind’s initial reaction. The first one was “lose.” I didn’t want to lose my wife. Breast cancer triggered such a thought back in 2017. Colon cancer triggered it again in 2020. My most immediate prayer was, “Please, God, I don’t want to lose her.”
Despite my own prayer, and my own faith in a merciful God, a second four-letter word crept into my consciousness: “fear.” The kind of fear I had rarely felt before, even in the face of other potential losses in life. To lose something like a job or money or material objects prior to this time was somewhat triggering for me. To lose Sue, my wife of then fifty-plus years was a far worse thought. Other things could be replaced. Not her. I felt fear like never before.
God was not surprised to find me frightened. He wired me, and all humans, to feel fear. I came to understand that God made a specific part of my brain, called the limbic system or “the emotional brain,” as a physical gift from Him. It is aimed at equipping me for fight or flight in response to unfamiliar circumstances that may threaten my survival. It was normal for me to fear the loss of my wife. It was okay to not be okay.
But today’s verse tells us that God has given us something beyond the fear. I learned that the part of my brain called the frontal lobe or “the rational brain” is also a gift from God—aimed at seeing a far bigger picture and a far better promise. God has elevated us above the animals who survive by means of only fear and fight or flight, and given us this way to thrive—by His Spirit “of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV). God gave me a “rational brain” to see His bigger and better perspective, thus calming the fears of my “emotional brain.” With this gift from God, my self-talk could now include far better four-letter words: “gain,” not lose, and “love,” not fear, with the help of His Spirit in me.
Imagine, God prepared you for this cancer fight from the moment He created your brain. By giving you a “rational brain” to see His bigger and better perspective, He enables you to calm the fears of your “emotional brain.” Through His good Spirit, He empowers you to live beyond your fears.
Pray: Loving God, we thank You that when our fear of loss strikes, You always show up with a better word. That word is always love. Help us to keep this word, and the power it supplies, within our minds today. Calm us. Empower us. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Your Turn: Notice today how your self-talk includes words like “gain” and “love”—especially whenever fear of loss may strike.
Dan Held, Cancer Caregiver
Dan is a cancer caregiver who lives with his wife (Sue) of 55 years in Dayton, Ohio, where Sue has been free from breast cancer and colon cancer for two years! Dan is an ordained pastor and a licensed therapist with a heart for families touched by cancer at any stage. He is dedicated to promoting the message of more love and less fear in all aspects of his ministry and life. Check out his blog at www.danielkheld.com.
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