How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand (Psalm 139:17-18 NIV).

When Kate turned fifty, she knew it was time to schedule a routine colonoscopy. She had been healthy her entire life, and she wasn’t experiencing any symptoms that would cause her alarm, so she didn’t think much of it. She simply went in because it was what you do when you turn fifty! Yet, this checkup turned out to be anything but routine.

As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore (Psalm 125:2 NIV).

When my wife was diagnosed with cancer (first in the breast and two years later in the colon), one of the first things we both noticed was our losing track of our immediate surroundings. In effect, we lost track of our senses.

Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” (Matthew 8:24-27 NIV)

The attack on Pearl Harbor, JFK’s assassination, 9/11. Anyone alive on those days can tell you exactly where they were and how they felt when they heard the news. You also know the moment that the cancer diagnosis came. These days stand out because everything was “normal,” and then, after the event, everything was not “normal.”

This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord Almighty” (Zechariah 4:6 NIV).

In retirement, part of my day is spent as a community liaison to area service agencies. I received a referral for help in locating and purchasing a wheelchair transport trailer for a man with muscular dystrophy. The trailers are expensive. My wife suggested looking at Facebook Marketplace. We searched the website and found a perfect trailer for one-fifth the price of a new one. Two churches willingly volunteered to contribute to the need. The trailer was purchased and attached to his vehicle. I stood in awe at how God supplied this man’s need. It was not by my might or wisdom. It was definitely by the Spirit of God.

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants…. The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded” (Matthew 18:23,27-28 NIV).

Over the years I have found myself praying, whether for someone else or for myself upon being sick, words such as this: “Please, God, pour out your healing mercies upon…” in the full faith that God would always be merciful, one way or another. During worship liturgy it has been in my corporate prayers, as well. Maybe you also have said these words in a church service: “Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.”

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28 NIV).

During my two breast cancer experiences I was able to continue to teach collegiate nursing, even as I received chemotherapy and radiation therapy. It was not always easy, as I was tired and “just not quite me,” but I could manage during the week and then rest and restore on the weekends. My family, the student nurses, and university staff were incredibly supportive and helpful during these times.

Yea, though I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4 KJV).

I am currently on my third cancer walk. My third cancer diagnosis, ten years after my second breast cancer diagnosis, was gynecological. It was thankfully discovered very early, but it was a “high grade,” or stronger cancer, which was very concerning.

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you (Isaiah 41:13 NIV).

I expect that most people have something about themselves that helps them feel more comfortable or in control of situations in their lives. For me, that one thing has always been my brain. If I could just get enough information about something and think I understood it and had a good plan, I felt like everything would be ok. If not, I would feel on shaky ground.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1 ESV).

Where did this come from? How did this happen? Why did I not notice anything until now?

Those were some of the questions that permeated my mind after the big lump was discovered in my breast. Everything was a whirlwind. Appointments, decisions, new doctors, protocols. And what was a port? Before I really understood what it was, I was in surgery having one installed.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV).

When I was a little girl, we moved from Canada to Denmark for a year. One of my dad’s favorite stories from this time was when our family attended a local weekend festival. There was a dare-devil motorcyclist with sawed-off mufflers attempting to ride his motorcycle high above the crowd on a tightrope. I was about five years old and had never experienced such a sight! At a pause in the action the deafening noise of the revving engine subsided, and according to Dad, I yelled out into the silent crowd, “DOES GOD KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON DOWN HERE?!” The crowd erupted into laughter.

Then King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in alarm. He said to his advisers, “Didn’t we throw three men, bound, into the fire?”

“Yes, of course, Your Majesty,” they replied to the king.

He exclaimed, “Look! I see four men, not tied, walking around in the fire unharmed; and the fourth looks like a son of the gods” (Daniel 3:24-25 HCSB).

Several years before my breast cancer diagnosis, I went to a women’s Bible study on the book of Daniel. The vivid stories captured our hearts, especially the story of the three men the king commanded to be thrown into a fiery furnace if they would not renounce God. As they stood feeling the heat of the fire they would soon be thrown into, they told the king that their God was able to save them from the fire, but even if He did not, they would never renounce Him.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV).

I expect I am like most women; I thought breast cancer was something that happened to other people. So, when the lump was discovered at a routine February doctor’s appointment, my first reaction was shock. My second reaction was to start trying to figure out how to get through this unknown new world I had not expected to live in—the world of a cancer patient.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you (Luke 11:9 NIV).

Every morning our cat, Wesley, stands just outside the door to our home. As soon as he hears me (or with his super sensor whiskers detects me tiptoeing past) he stands up on his hind legs. He stretches up as high as he can reach, until his paws practically touch the doorknob, and begins to feverishly scratch away at the door.

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you (John 15:7 ESV).

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t pray because you didn’t know what to say? Maybe a situation was so difficult that you felt too numb to pray. Maybe you didn’t know which direction God was moving you, and words escaped you. Perhaps you felt that God wasn’t really listening to your prayers.

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know (Jeremiah 33:3 NIV).

I’ve never lived alone—which is fine with me, because I don’t like being alone. Now, my husband Kelly is the opposite. He’s a man who can really enjoy his solitude.

Early in our marriage, I’d find Kelly sitting in the office paying bills or something, and I would go in and sit. Just sit. No talking, no reading—just sitting. “Do you need something?” he’d ask. I’d just grin and say, “No.” After much repetition, I finally understood: at the ripe old age of 24, I had no idea how to be alone. Four decades later, I’ve gotten better, but I would still pick a room with a bunch of noisy, smelly teenagers than a room by myself any day. Strange, I know.

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! (Romans 11:33 NIV)

I’m a man. Generally speaking, men like to fix things. I have to be reminded frequently by my wife and daughters that they do not need their feelings or their dilemmas fixed. But I am their protector, and don’t like to see my loved ones hurting! It is agonizing to just listen and be compassionate. I struggle to trust that they will work through it and find their own way. Ugh! Amazingly enough, they do survive without my expert advice! Nobody wants a Mr. Know-It-All, anyway! I think I will give up that role—much to my family’s delight!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV).

The days before an MRI, CT scan, or PET scan can cause you to stress out. Has the cancer progressed? Stabilized? Or—Please, God!—shrunk, or, even better, vanished? The anxiety, or “scanxiety” as some call it, can be off the charts.

Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed (John 20:8 NIV).

In the book of John chapter twenty, a miracle of epic portions happened. This event was not about seeing Jesus work a miracle. The miracle was about not seeing Jesus—not seeing Jesus in the tomb. The apostle John paints the scene of this true miracle, as he shares what he has witnessed with his own eyes. The tomb was empty! A miracle had occurred that couldn’t be explained. The body of Christ was gone. The linen cloths His body was wrapped in remained—but where was He?

Jesus performed many other signs [miracles] in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name (John 20:30-31 NIV).

At my granddaughter’s first birthday party, her favorite thing was the birthday cards. Not the presents, the gift wrap, or even the boxes—the cards. With birthday number two approaching, I hopefully asked, “Is she into unwrapping presents yet?” Why? Because I love a kid’s sweet feeling of abandon when they rip off bows and tear through wrapping paper with uncontrolled anticipation of the glorious treasure that surely must be inside.

I waited patiently for the Lord (Psalm 40:1a NIV).

Recently, after waiting thirty minutes beyond my appointment time for my first chemotherapy infusion, I checked back with the receptionist. She curtly explained that the wait would be “sixty to ninety minutes.” A moment later she returned with a flier titled, “Why am I waiting so long for my treatment?” I wasn’t the first to ask.