Sharing Our Faith and Encouraging Each Other along the Cancer Journey, November 19
By Jenni Ritzert
…that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith (Romans 1:12 NIV).
Mark and I communicated well, but after his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, it seemed we were each quietly absorbing what this could mean for his future and our plan to grow old together. At first, we tried not to worry the other with what we were feeling. One night, my feelings and fears became intense. I just couldn’t hold them in any longer and I burst out crying.
I then felt guilty for my “breakdown” (which turns out to be a normal feeling). He was the sick one, and the last thing I wanted to do was to worry him. We talked and agreed to not make assumptions about what the other understood or was feeling and to not hold in our thoughts and fears from each other anymore. Rather, we decided to make a point of talking openly and honestly and to listen, really listen, to each other’s feelings.
This isn’t to say that from then on we communicated perfectly. Our emotions could change minute by minute or day by day. Sometimes, we had to intentionally set aside specific times to sit and talk so there weren’t any distractions keeping us from being able to hear each other.
We didn’t want this diagnosis to keep us from activities we enjoyed. We wanted to make a point of talking about things other than cancer, and we especially wanted to continue laughing. (There was always a lot of laughter in our home.)
Besides taking care of the typical caregiving tasks, sometimes I would simply ask Mark how else I could support him. I remember him asking for little things, like quiet times during the day so he could nap, and trusting him when he said he felt well enough to ride his Harley (so I wouldn’t worry).
On days when Mark was suffering from the side effects of chemo/radiation, I would want to jump in and try to fix things. Over time, I learned that sometimes just letting him know I was there was enough.
Having been abruptly faced with this life-altering situation, I was initially angry at God and asked, “Why Mark?” We were newly married and were settling into our new life together. It took time, but eventually we leaned into our faith for strength and comfort. That allowed us more energy to encourage each other along the journey.
When I think back to those days, I can see that as we drew closer to each other, we drew closer to God. Perhaps the clearest place this was seen was when Mark and I started praying together. This had not been a part of our normal lives before cancer, but what a tremendous blessing those prayers became for us. In subtle and large ways, we were reminded of God’s unconditional love for us and the fact that God is always with us and will never leave us. We can always count on Him to listen to our individual fears, frustrations, hopes, feelings of hopelessness, and our requests.
Pray: Loving God, thank You for being available to us at any time and in any place. Allow me to communicate openly and honestly with the person I’m caring for. Remind us that where two or more are gathered, there You are among us, and we can speak to You about anything, aloud or in silence. Remind us that sharing our faith and encouraging others can be calming and give us peace. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Your Turn: In your efforts to “be strong,” are you holding in your feelings? Are each of you not talking about your feelings, your fears, your hopes, etc., in order to “protect” the other person? Consider visiting www.cancercompanion.org for resources and tools for getting that conversation started. You can also leave prayer requests and ask for a prayer partner.
Jenni Ritzert, Cancer Caregiver
Jenni’s husband, Mark, passed away after a courageous battle with pancreatic cancer. They benefited in amazing ways from a Cancer Companions class called “Seeing God in your Cancer Journey.” Mark was able to fully realize God’s extravagant love, and Jenni learned to lean on God and others throughout those difficult times. Jenni retired in 2020 from Wright Patterson Air Force Base. She prays the devotionals she wrote will help caregivers as they journey through cancer with their family and friends.
Cancer Companion’s vision for the future is for every person impacted by cancer to know the hope, love, and grace of Jesus and that every oncology team has included faith in their treatment toolbox. By 2033, Cancer Companions will provide 5 million engagements through cancer prayers, scriptures and interactions to those impacted by cancer. Engagements include; social media outreach, e-newsletters, prayer team requests, 30 days of Cancer Prayer event, and volunteer connections.
To learn more about our ministry and the services we provide visit our website by clicking here.
